Raising Teenagers is Hard!

I wish someone would have told me....raising teenagers is hard! Today I was out and saw mommies and daddies pushing their babies and walking besides the older "babies" and it always calls me back to when my kids were that age. I remember back then in those times excited about what it would be like when they were older, and wishing it would soon come. And then it did. In some ways I'm glad it did...no more poopy diapers , temper tantrums...you are their world... but in other ways I'm not. ...teen age temper tantrums (they know how to talk back at this age, how I wish I hadn't of taught my kids to speak)they are their world, and you simply exist in it, and the day to day struggles "they" don't tell you about (whoever they are) I haven't quite figured out who they are, but it would have been nice while I was staring at my newly born child that smelled like untainted love the challenges of raising a teen. Somehow I didn't give it thought that how my kids are spaced together that I would have THREE teens at once....what were we thinking?? I long for the days we could jump in the car and go to the park, crafts, waking up after nap time (mostly mine) to make cookies or watch a movie (usually the same one we have watched for the 10,000th time) I know in those days what moms really needed and lacked was physical energy...from being on the go 24/7 and those 2AM feedings or when they were sick and up all night throwing up or crying in pain.

As a mom of a teen what we really need and I know I lack is mental energy. You are constantly second guessing yourself, trying to come up with a solution to today's problem,whatever that may be, and need that kind of energy to tell your teen for the 10,000th time to put away their dishes or to clean up their food mess they seem to think the kitchen fairy is going to magically clean up while they are on Myspace. What I desire is a book that tells me on Page 457 how to such and such, so that I can look in the index at today's issue and find a godly solid fool proof answer.
Today I got to hear from my oldest how one of the rules my husband and I have is not what other kids parents have. We quickly found out that he's hearing the whispers (which seem like shouting to us) that we don't have his best interest at heart...that we are stifling him, controlling him, treating him like a child. In today's world I see a huge lack of responsibility and possibly a lack of that mental energy we need. I am strongly against the teen age community trying to rush through kid hood quickly...it should be savored by the child, but I also know at his age you want anything but to savor it. They would rather chew it up and spit it out and fly thru to the part where they think Easy Street and Freedom Lane meet. I think back to when I was 19 I know I had some of the same feelings, however my childhood was VERY different than my sons and my situation was also VERY different...When I was around his age I was newly married with my second baby. I also was paying my own bills, keeping a household, and was working as much as I could with a toddler (which is the son I am writing about) so on and so forth. I was way more mature for my age (I always was because of my childhood, which helped me throughout my life) My friends (these being new friends) were not my world, my kids were. Thankfully, my son does not have that responsibilities I had but I do wish he would see how easy he has it and what he is missing out by the choices he is making.
I don't think that just because society is loose with its morals and values, what was taboo at my age is now not that we as parents should unleash the reins on our own flesh and blood who the world only wants to suck the life out of and spit him out. When the sounds of his influences scream hard to pull him their way, its hard to pull back when those influences lead him to believe they are right and we are wrong, if that makes sense. What are our options? I feel like my back is against the wall.
So I ask what is a parent to do? I know. pray hard and love hard. Even when it hurts and you want to scream and yell and throw your own tantrum...God willing we will both make it thru unscathed.
I pray each day God for wisdom, Your amazing love to flow thru me and guidance on how to parent one on hand and work my self out of a job on the other. 2 more to go and so far I have no gray hairs. I know the decisions we are making so far are first of all for HIS best ( of which he cant see and chooses to not even look at the possibility of that truth) and that they are from what I know about God and the bible, biblicaly sound rules and values we are holding to for our kids. I hope it does not turn him away completely. Lord I pray against this in Jesus' Holy Precious Name.
I lift my precious flesh and blood up to You Lord and knowing that You love him more than I possibly could ask you to stir his heart to make decisions based on what he has been taught all these years. I pray that he would see we have his best interest at heart, and that even in light that his influences are pulling him one way, he would not let that pulling tear the strings that bind us as a family. May the scissors of condemnation and pride not snip away at the morals and values we have instilled in him, nor chip away at the person he used to be. He's pulled away and is slowly turning away from us and moving more and more towards these bad influences. I know it could be worse, (many families are going thru worse at this age and younger)but for us this has caused us much grief and is a huge turmoil in our family. It has disrupted the common pace of our household. Lord I especially pray that he would not make his girlfriend and her family be his god as I see this as the basis of these decisions. I lift this all up to You knowing you know each detail piece by piece and the needs of our family at this critical time of need and heartache.

In Jesus Name. Amen.

Marriage is the Joining of 2 Imperfect Lives into 1 Perfect Union

Tomorrow is Jeff and my wedding anniversary ...17 years of wedded bliss! As I thank God for my marriage it causes me to think about all we've been thru ...we've been together for 21 years....it seems like a lifetime together, yet it feels like yesterday too. We have had our fair share of ups and downs...twists and turns, rollovers and crashes, long quiet drives on Bliss Lane enjoying the view. Today I read a relevant quote that I like "Marriage is the joining of 2 imperfect people into 1 perfect union." I know when we got married, Ihad fantasies of what I thought marred life would be like...I wasnt prepared for all the elbow grease a sweat equity it takes to make a healthy marriage work. There have been times when we've wanted to throw in the towel and I am sure I havent been a bowl of cherries to live with (Im just saying that to be
nice, I know it cant really be true...Im a peach!) and my husband hasnt always been either. But thats one of the great things about marriage...even on your worst days (Ive only had one) you have someone that will stick it out (if they are committed to their vows)and see past your faults and flaws.
They are the only person who really sees you for who you are with bad breath, critical comments and after you have barfed for the 3rd time from the flu. They are there to heal the hurts you have gone thru after a bad day and baggage you need to work thru from your past.
I use to think that Jeff was my other half...he use to call me his "better half" (of which I fullheartedly agree) but the reality is that if you dont have 2 whole people committed to giving up of themselves to put their needs before yours....not an easy thing if you are selfish (not me, I dont have that problem) every day, over look faults, be the first to seek forgiveness. If you are "half" a person you dont have what it takes to commit to the relationship and see it thru...its so funny that when you say "for better or for worse" you dreamily think it wont be "worse" and how "love will see you thru"...well honey love dont pay the rent or put milk in the fridge! The love we feel on our wedding day doesnt survive without dedication, faith in God and consistency to see it thru so that when those "worse" days come or those "sick" days come more than "health" days (in sickness and in health) Till death do you part is easy to vow but living with someone who is usually the opposite of you day in a day out for possibly 65 years (average) is quite a feat in todays society a rareity. It helps immensley if your mate is your best friend.
If you can laugh with your mate, you can last with your mate, especially on the worst of days. After 3 kids, a gazillion pets, in laws, places we've hung our hats, couches (that have been spilled on or mangled by our kids and pets), 2 brain tumors and many many sick days, Multiple Sclerosis, floods and thunderstorms, 10 million loads of laundry, 20 million trips to the gorcery store, and many a struggles and problems we've made it thru. I beleive that without Jeff I couldnt have made it thru the stuff Ive gone thru and I have to say there is no one on earth I would have rather gone thru that stuff with. Peace out!