I wish someone would have told me....raising teenagers is hard! Today I was out and saw mommies and daddies pushing their babies and walking besides the older "babies" and it always calls me back to when my kids were that age. I remember back then in those times excited about what it would be like when they were older, and wishing it would soon come. And then it did. In some ways I'm glad it did...no more poopy diapers , temper tantrums...you are their world... but in other ways I'm not. ...teen age temper tantrums (they know how to talk back at this age, how I wish I hadn't of taught my kids to speak)they are their world, and you simply exist in it, and the day to day struggles "they" don't tell you about (whoever they are) I haven't quite figured out who they are, but it would have been nice while I was staring at my newly born child that smelled like untainted love the challenges of raising a teen. Somehow I didn't give it thought that how my kids are spaced together that I would have THREE teens at once....what were we thinking?? I long for the days we could jump in the car and go to the park, crafts, waking up after nap time (mostly mine) to make cookies or watch a movie (usually the same one we have watched for the 10,000th time) I know in those days what moms really needed and lacked was physical energy...from being on the go 24/7 and those 2AM feedings or when they were sick and up all night throwing up or crying in pain.
As a mom of a teen what we really need and I know I lack is mental energy. You are constantly second guessing yourself, trying to come up with a solution to today's problem,whatever that may be, and need that kind of energy to tell your teen for the 10,000th time to put away their dishes or to clean up their food mess they seem to think the kitchen fairy is going to magically clean up while they are on Myspace. What I desire is a book that tells me on Page 457 how to such and such, so that I can look in the index at today's issue and find a godly solid fool proof answer.
Today I got to hear from my oldest how one of the rules my husband and I have is not what other kids parents have. We quickly found out that he's hearing the whispers (which seem like shouting to us) that we don't have his best interest at heart...that we are stifling him, controlling him, treating him like a child. In today's world I see a huge lack of responsibility and possibly a lack of that mental energy we need. I am strongly against the teen age community trying to rush through kid hood quickly...it should be savored by the child, but I also know at his age you want anything but to savor it. They would rather chew it up and spit it out and fly thru to the part where they think Easy Street and Freedom Lane meet. I think back to when I was 19 I know I had some of the same feelings, however my childhood was VERY different than my sons and my situation was also VERY different...When I was around his age I was newly married with my second baby. I also was paying my own bills, keeping a household, and was working as much as I could with a toddler (which is the son I am writing about) so on and so forth. I was way more mature for my age (I always was because of my childhood, which helped me throughout my life) My friends (these being new friends) were not my world, my kids were. Thankfully, my son does not have that responsibilities I had but I do wish he would see how easy he has it and what he is missing out by the choices he is making.
I don't think that just because society is loose with its morals and values, what was taboo at my age is now not that we as parents should unleash the reins on our own flesh and blood who the world only wants to suck the life out of and spit him out. When the sounds of his influences scream hard to pull him their way, its hard to pull back when those influences lead him to believe they are right and we are wrong, if that makes sense. What are our options? I feel like my back is against the wall.
So I ask what is a parent to do? I know. pray hard and love hard. Even when it hurts and you want to scream and yell and throw your own tantrum...God willing we will both make it thru unscathed.
I pray each day God for wisdom, Your amazing love to flow thru me and guidance on how to parent one on hand and work my self out of a job on the other. 2 more to go and so far I have no gray hairs. I know the decisions we are making so far are first of all for HIS best ( of which he cant see and chooses to not even look at the possibility of that truth) and that they are from what I know about God and the bible, biblicaly sound rules and values we are holding to for our kids. I hope it does not turn him away completely. Lord I pray against this in Jesus' Holy Precious Name.
I lift my precious flesh and blood up to You Lord and knowing that You love him more than I possibly could ask you to stir his heart to make decisions based on what he has been taught all these years. I pray that he would see we have his best interest at heart, and that even in light that his influences are pulling him one way, he would not let that pulling tear the strings that bind us as a family. May the scissors of condemnation and pride not snip away at the morals and values we have instilled in him, nor chip away at the person he used to be. He's pulled away and is slowly turning away from us and moving more and more towards these bad influences. I know it could be worse, (many families are going thru worse at this age and younger)but for us this has caused us much grief and is a huge turmoil in our family. It has disrupted the common pace of our household. Lord I especially pray that he would not make his girlfriend and her family be his god as I see this as the basis of these decisions. I lift this all up to You knowing you know each detail piece by piece and the needs of our family at this critical time of need and heartache.
In Jesus Name. Amen.
Saturday, August 30, 2008
Saturday, August 2, 2008
Marriage is the Joining of 2 Imperfect Lives into 1 Perfect Union
Tomorrow is Jeff and my wedding anniversary ...17 years of wedded bliss! As I thank God for my marriage it causes me to think about all we've been thru ...we've been together for 21 years....it seems like a lifetime together, yet it feels like yesterday too. We have had our fair share of ups and downs...twists and turns, rollovers and crashes, long quiet drives on Bliss Lane enjoying the view. Today I read a relevant quote that I like "Marriage is the joining of 2 imperfect people into 1 perfect union." I know when we got married, Ihad fantasies of what I thought marred life would be like...I wasnt prepared for all the elbow grease a sweat equity it takes to make a healthy marriage work. There have been times when we've wanted to throw in the towel and I am sure I havent been a bowl of cherries to live with (Im just saying that to be
nice, I know it cant really be true...Im a peach!) and my husband hasnt always been either. But thats one of the great things about marriage...even on your worst days (Ive only had one) you have someone that will stick it out (if they are committed to their vows)and see past your faults and flaws.
They are the only person who really sees you for who you are with bad breath, critical comments and after you have barfed for the 3rd time from the flu. They are there to heal the hurts you have gone thru after a bad day and baggage you need to work thru from your past.
I use to think that Jeff was my other half...he use to call me his "better half" (of which I fullheartedly agree) but the reality is that if you dont have 2 whole people committed to giving up of themselves to put their needs before yours....not an easy thing if you are selfish (not me, I dont have that problem) every day, over look faults, be the first to seek forgiveness. If you are "half" a person you dont have what it takes to commit to the relationship and see it thru...its so funny that when you say "for better or for worse" you dreamily think it wont be "worse" and how "love will see you thru"...well honey love dont pay the rent or put milk in the fridge! The love we feel on our wedding day doesnt survive without dedication, faith in God and consistency to see it thru so that when those "worse" days come or those "sick" days come more than "health" days (in sickness and in health) Till death do you part is easy to vow but living with someone who is usually the opposite of you day in a day out for possibly 65 years (average) is quite a feat in todays society a rareity. It helps immensley if your mate is your best friend.
If you can laugh with your mate, you can last with your mate, especially on the worst of days. After 3 kids, a gazillion pets, in laws, places we've hung our hats, couches (that have been spilled on or mangled by our kids and pets), 2 brain tumors and many many sick days, Multiple Sclerosis, floods and thunderstorms, 10 million loads of laundry, 20 million trips to the gorcery store, and many a struggles and problems we've made it thru. I beleive that without Jeff I couldnt have made it thru the stuff Ive gone thru and I have to say there is no one on earth I would have rather gone thru that stuff with. Peace out!
nice, I know it cant really be true...Im a peach!) and my husband hasnt always been either. But thats one of the great things about marriage...even on your worst days (Ive only had one) you have someone that will stick it out (if they are committed to their vows)and see past your faults and flaws.
They are the only person who really sees you for who you are with bad breath, critical comments and after you have barfed for the 3rd time from the flu. They are there to heal the hurts you have gone thru after a bad day and baggage you need to work thru from your past.
I use to think that Jeff was my other half...he use to call me his "better half" (of which I fullheartedly agree) but the reality is that if you dont have 2 whole people committed to giving up of themselves to put their needs before yours....not an easy thing if you are selfish (not me, I dont have that problem) every day, over look faults, be the first to seek forgiveness. If you are "half" a person you dont have what it takes to commit to the relationship and see it thru...its so funny that when you say "for better or for worse" you dreamily think it wont be "worse" and how "love will see you thru"...well honey love dont pay the rent or put milk in the fridge! The love we feel on our wedding day doesnt survive without dedication, faith in God and consistency to see it thru so that when those "worse" days come or those "sick" days come more than "health" days (in sickness and in health) Till death do you part is easy to vow but living with someone who is usually the opposite of you day in a day out for possibly 65 years (average) is quite a feat in todays society a rareity. It helps immensley if your mate is your best friend.
If you can laugh with your mate, you can last with your mate, especially on the worst of days. After 3 kids, a gazillion pets, in laws, places we've hung our hats, couches (that have been spilled on or mangled by our kids and pets), 2 brain tumors and many many sick days, Multiple Sclerosis, floods and thunderstorms, 10 million loads of laundry, 20 million trips to the gorcery store, and many a struggles and problems we've made it thru. I beleive that without Jeff I couldnt have made it thru the stuff Ive gone thru and I have to say there is no one on earth I would have rather gone thru that stuff with. Peace out!
Sunday, July 27, 2008
Is it True That Nothing In Life is Free?
Remember the old adage that "nothing in life is free?" Back in my day, which seems like eons yet like yesterday too, a piece of Bazooka gum cost .01, a Big Stick .25, a stamp .10, bus ride .25....the first 2 things being the most important to a kid, which is probably why I remember how much they were. Looking back while comparing prices between then and now, it seems like things back then were almost free, but its all relative. These days you really can't get much for FREE, except maybe frustration and library books. With that sigh of reality comes great news my friend! There is something else, somthing more important that is FREE... no strings attached, no small print, no scheme nor "have to buy such and such" later kind of thing.
This morning I was reminded once again that God gives of Himself for FREE...no strings attached, no small print, definitely no scheme. He sent His Son to die for me (and you) so that I (and those who accept Him as their Savior) may be FREE to have an abundant overflowing with good life. It doesnt means its not a hard life, but it is a good life in some many ways. Sometimes its hard to see that with rising gas and grocery prices and soaring debt this truth still prevails. Even if gas gets to 7.00 a gallon (Please Lord, no! Just the thought make me nauseous), groceries go up to apples costing 2.00 an apple as opposed to 1.00 each (isn't that ridiculous ?!) this truth wont waver. Its easy to lose sight of that given the way our world is these days and the direction it seems to be going. Great news to all my friends! We can have full confidence that His love wont ever fade, dry up, disappear, fizzle out wither away or run out.
I am learning each day that with each day comes new grace. Each challenge is met with the tools to overcome. Whatever what situation we may find our selves in, His grace is there to cover it and His tools available to bring us to the other side. I am the first to say its hard at times to remember that. In the last 10 yrs I have been thru the most difficult , heart wrenching, challenging , joy blasting circumstances in my life. Yet He is there. Its hard to hold onto joy when your life seems to be pulled out from your fingers. Yet He is there. For me, its like having an almost completed puzzle dropped on the floor and I'm trying to put it back together the best I can, with His covering of me. My life as I once new it was no more but its open for a new life to form. So the next time someone says "Honey, nothing in life is FREE", you can let them know there are things for FREE...the most important being the love of God... the One who created life and all that is in it.
This morning I was reminded once again that God gives of Himself for FREE...no strings attached, no small print, definitely no scheme. He sent His Son to die for me (and you) so that I (and those who accept Him as their Savior) may be FREE to have an abundant overflowing with good life. It doesnt means its not a hard life, but it is a good life in some many ways. Sometimes its hard to see that with rising gas and grocery prices and soaring debt this truth still prevails. Even if gas gets to 7.00 a gallon (Please Lord, no! Just the thought make me nauseous), groceries go up to apples costing 2.00 an apple as opposed to 1.00 each (isn't that ridiculous ?!) this truth wont waver. Its easy to lose sight of that given the way our world is these days and the direction it seems to be going. Great news to all my friends! We can have full confidence that His love wont ever fade, dry up, disappear, fizzle out wither away or run out.
I am learning each day that with each day comes new grace. Each challenge is met with the tools to overcome. Whatever what situation we may find our selves in, His grace is there to cover it and His tools available to bring us to the other side. I am the first to say its hard at times to remember that. In the last 10 yrs I have been thru the most difficult , heart wrenching, challenging , joy blasting circumstances in my life. Yet He is there. Its hard to hold onto joy when your life seems to be pulled out from your fingers. Yet He is there. For me, its like having an almost completed puzzle dropped on the floor and I'm trying to put it back together the best I can, with His covering of me. My life as I once new it was no more but its open for a new life to form. So the next time someone says "Honey, nothing in life is FREE", you can let them know there are things for FREE...the most important being the love of God... the One who created life and all that is in it.
Sunday, July 20, 2008
Sunday, July 6, 2008
When You Wish Upon A Star
When you wish upon a star
Your hopes and dreams will travel far
Dreams come true and hopes fufilled
Trust in God and pray until--
While you wait for life to unfold
By His will His love is told
How much He loves us, is in His plan
On this earth walked a holy man
He sent His Son to die for you ,to die for me
So we may wish and be set free!
So when you wish upon that star
Remember who made them far
For as far as they are to us
Is how far that we can trust
That He knows our hopes and our dreams
As His child goes not unseen
When you dream do not forget
There is a plan amazing set---
May you wish upon that star my friend
Watch for it around the bend!
Your hopes and dreams will travel far
Dreams come true and hopes fufilled
Trust in God and pray until--
While you wait for life to unfold
By His will His love is told
How much He loves us, is in His plan
On this earth walked a holy man
He sent His Son to die for you ,to die for me
So we may wish and be set free!
So when you wish upon that star
Remember who made them far
For as far as they are to us
Is how far that we can trust
That He knows our hopes and our dreams
As His child goes not unseen
When you dream do not forget
There is a plan amazing set---
May you wish upon that star my friend
Watch for it around the bend!
Change is Good Only If We Embrace It
I wish I was one of those people who like change, sadly I am not. Some people can just ebb and flow with lifes turns, straightaways, potholes and u-turns, sadly I cannot. I mean on a certain level I have dealt with what "road conditions" I have been dealt. I believe God has a plan for everyone and everything, and in this is which I cling to, and have a bumper sticker on my "car of life". It seems lately I have had potholes, traffic accidents, fender benders, rain and flat tires, and I have to say if at any other time I have not been able to embrace it try as I might. Having a disease which is ultimately fatal, has left you scarred physically,emotionally and mentally has left me just numb. I dont really know how I feel at times, other times I feel nothing. I do my best to put on a positive attitude esp when it comes to my kids, who have been thru so much, but when I look in the mirror I wonder how I got here. How did I get here? One of the problems I have is that I can handle things if I know the "purpose/reason"...in the beginning of my illness I saw how it changed my husband, my kids, myself for the better...we were looking to God, growing closer etc etc and peoples live were being changed by our situation. Then as things progressed I began teaching in my womens bible study...I got fufillment and purpose to such an unexplainable degree...the only other time I felt like that was when I was having babies...I could see how God was using this, possibly where I saw things going (ie my writing career) I was growing, and all of a sudden it seemed...Wham! It was almost like the sky got pitch black and I couldnt see my way...its like that now...Im not able to teach right now, which is a HUGE loss for me...Im pretty much homebound at the moment which is soooo not like the kind of person I am...Im used to it, but I dont like it.
There have been other changes in my life as well besides this illness...Admist that I have 3, count them 1, 2 , 3 teenagers (obv I didnt think ahead and plan that when I was having them lol)and one is 19 which is a HUGE change...hes begun that process (=change)of stepping out of the nest....That has been really really hard...did I say hard? The other 2 are going thru some major changes and I am just at a place I cant take it all in...My husband has been dealing with depression which has its challenges of its own, one being getting a med to help him.
During all this I want to write, esp the books He has put on my heart, but Im have writers block right now...I feel like its not the right time for some reason but then I second guess myself...So needless to say Im trusting God but I cant see my way out, around or even my hand in front of my face, and so this is change at its finest...When the sun comes out will I like where Im at? Or will I be discontent? Will I ever get to a place I can accept this change, if its not going to change for the better? I dont know, I cant answer that. I will say that despite all that is going on I odnt feel a sense of "doom and gloom", I just dont know what to do with this which has been put on my plate.
All I know at this moment is that Im focused on God, trying to stay positive and hoping that whatever is around the corner is going to be good...at least better than it is. So as I said hence the title, change is good only if you can embrace it...Now I cant quite embrace the changes in my life, but maybe for now all I can do is look it in the eye and wave hello. In the coming months maybe we can become batter friends, goodness knows I could always use some of those :o)More on my travels later... TaTa for now, Ive got some driving to do :oP
There have been other changes in my life as well besides this illness...Admist that I have 3, count them 1, 2 , 3 teenagers (obv I didnt think ahead and plan that when I was having them lol)and one is 19 which is a HUGE change...hes begun that process (=change)of stepping out of the nest....That has been really really hard...did I say hard? The other 2 are going thru some major changes and I am just at a place I cant take it all in...My husband has been dealing with depression which has its challenges of its own, one being getting a med to help him.
During all this I want to write, esp the books He has put on my heart, but Im have writers block right now...I feel like its not the right time for some reason but then I second guess myself...So needless to say Im trusting God but I cant see my way out, around or even my hand in front of my face, and so this is change at its finest...When the sun comes out will I like where Im at? Or will I be discontent? Will I ever get to a place I can accept this change, if its not going to change for the better? I dont know, I cant answer that. I will say that despite all that is going on I odnt feel a sense of "doom and gloom", I just dont know what to do with this which has been put on my plate.
All I know at this moment is that Im focused on God, trying to stay positive and hoping that whatever is around the corner is going to be good...at least better than it is. So as I said hence the title, change is good only if you can embrace it...Now I cant quite embrace the changes in my life, but maybe for now all I can do is look it in the eye and wave hello. In the coming months maybe we can become batter friends, goodness knows I could always use some of those :o)More on my travels later... TaTa for now, Ive got some driving to do :oP
Tuesday, July 1, 2008
What Do You Stand For?
Have you ever thought about what it is you stand for? Do you make a concious effort to make a difference in those areas you stand for? DO your values, morals, activities, what comes out of your mouth reflect that?
I have recently begun after 4 years started to walk again which by all counts is only something God can do. My athiest dr even (in not so many words) and though never used the word "God" says so and I wholeheartedly agree)
The fact that I can walk has got me thinking in terms of my life...what do I stand for? The first thing that comes to mind is that my first and foremost desire is to stand for my Creator and my purpose for life...Jesus Christ. Without Him I am truly nothing...my life means nothing, my life will not mean anything in terms of my legacy and what I leave behind when God calls me Home, and my life will have no meaning to me. I will wander around aimlessly, meandering with no purpose or sense of direction. This I do not want in any way shape or form. I want to have an effect on this world that seems to be crumbling, succumbing to destruction aka selfishness, greed and denial of all truth. There also is the fact that for some all truth is truth as they see it. that is there is no 'wrong' or the possibility that Gods truth is the only truth. A sad but true problem with society today. I also want to have an effect that continues to have a ripple effect for generations to come. I hope that what I teach and influence in my children passes on to the world at large. My hope is that of all believers---that God will be satsified with my work here, the purposes He sent me here to fufill in the first place.
I hope that people who know me see Jesus in me---I know Im not perfect but in the whole picture they see that I stand for Him, work for Him, love Him deeply.
I do have other things I stand for...I stand against child abuse, starving and those in poverty, pedophilia, abuse of the environment as I myself learn to take care of it, and I do whatever I can to stand against animal neglect and abuse. However, as I write I realize I need to do more to reflect such a stance. Believing in something or being against it is not enough to make a difference. There is more to do and definitely I need to participate in organizations and groups who are of alike mindsets. I vow to do that from here on out. Otherwise, I am one of many who say they stand for something and yet sit as I did for 4 years and standby as children are abused, people starve and are without the neccesities of life, pedophiles steal childrens innocence and purity, leaving them effected to look at the world completely different, askew and damaged. There are animals who starve and live in horrid conditions, animals needlessly euthanized but for "overpopulation" and lack of room.
I will close with this: Choose what you stand for, take the time to make sure your life represents and reflects what it is we stand for. Then take the steps to stamp an imprint in those areas so n ear to your heart, your purposes, that you will be known for the things you did. And as a result, more impotantly who you are, and in time who you were in years to come.
I have recently begun after 4 years started to walk again which by all counts is only something God can do. My athiest dr even (in not so many words) and though never used the word "God" says so and I wholeheartedly agree)
The fact that I can walk has got me thinking in terms of my life...what do I stand for? The first thing that comes to mind is that my first and foremost desire is to stand for my Creator and my purpose for life...Jesus Christ. Without Him I am truly nothing...my life means nothing, my life will not mean anything in terms of my legacy and what I leave behind when God calls me Home, and my life will have no meaning to me. I will wander around aimlessly, meandering with no purpose or sense of direction. This I do not want in any way shape or form. I want to have an effect on this world that seems to be crumbling, succumbing to destruction aka selfishness, greed and denial of all truth. There also is the fact that for some all truth is truth as they see it. that is there is no 'wrong' or the possibility that Gods truth is the only truth. A sad but true problem with society today. I also want to have an effect that continues to have a ripple effect for generations to come. I hope that what I teach and influence in my children passes on to the world at large. My hope is that of all believers---that God will be satsified with my work here, the purposes He sent me here to fufill in the first place.
I hope that people who know me see Jesus in me---I know Im not perfect but in the whole picture they see that I stand for Him, work for Him, love Him deeply.
I do have other things I stand for...I stand against child abuse, starving and those in poverty, pedophilia, abuse of the environment as I myself learn to take care of it, and I do whatever I can to stand against animal neglect and abuse. However, as I write I realize I need to do more to reflect such a stance. Believing in something or being against it is not enough to make a difference. There is more to do and definitely I need to participate in organizations and groups who are of alike mindsets. I vow to do that from here on out. Otherwise, I am one of many who say they stand for something and yet sit as I did for 4 years and standby as children are abused, people starve and are without the neccesities of life, pedophiles steal childrens innocence and purity, leaving them effected to look at the world completely different, askew and damaged. There are animals who starve and live in horrid conditions, animals needlessly euthanized but for "overpopulation" and lack of room.
I will close with this: Choose what you stand for, take the time to make sure your life represents and reflects what it is we stand for. Then take the steps to stamp an imprint in those areas so n ear to your heart, your purposes, that you will be known for the things you did. And as a result, more impotantly who you are, and in time who you were in years to come.
Tuesday, June 3, 2008
Hows life treating you?
Hows your life been treating you? I hope all is well. In my small little piece of the world my life has been turned upside down and Im trying my best to keep afloat. In my times with God it has been so comforting to know He knows all my hurts and even feels my pain. Its kind of a funny thing because so often we plan our lives out (at least I tried to) and think we are heading which ever way leads to "good" and "prosperous", whatever that may be in the beholders eyes. For one person prosperity may just mean a sense of accomplishment, success in the work place. For others it may just simply mean $$$. As long as the $$ is flowing in then there is prosperity. For someone else, it may be the family unit...husband/wife/kids/mom/dad etc...To them if you have family, you are prosperous...no material things necessary, but are icing on the cake. For another it may mean having just one more day to be with his family before God calls Him home. There is that man or woman far in the jungle of Africa whose children are starving to death and as she ispraying to God for some help to be able to feed her children who are suffering from starvation and malnutrition and here comes a large truck full of food...it is missionaries coming to serve the needs of those people like her and her children. Or for that person who's life is in momentary shambles...his wife left him for another man...He has confidence in that he has God, if nothing else. How about that young man or woman that has their whole life ahead of them and is ready to take on the world? Whatever the case may be, prosperity can only come from one place and that is from God. Just as our l ives are different so is our sense of prosperity---all of us have it, we may just not be able to find it at the moment. One of the things I love about God is that He gives all His children prosperity, its in His nature to be a giver, but we as the rescipent have to be able to see it. Can you find where you are prosperous in your life? Can you even see it? What does it mean to you to be prosperous? Is it in the things you see, or in the unseen, or both? How can we make the lives of others prosper? There is a saying I heard recently is that goes something like this " True prosperity is serving others that there life may be prosperous " That means to give is to be prosperous? Its easy to think of it in terms of being on the receiving end...to be prosperous means to receive...but I beleive God is saying it is to give in order that we may flourish and grow and create room for more. Thats hard to do when you are going thru the trenches yourself. How do you give when you have nothing to give? That my friend is a answer I dont have, only God can answer that. Your best bet is to talk to Him and Im sure Hes got something in mind.
So the next time you are sizing your life up, remember that true prosperity is not in storing up, its in giving up. Its not that God doesnt want us to be in the receiving end at all.. in fact I believe quite the contrary. Hes that kind of God. He just wants us to share, share what we've been given, which creates room for more...more to be given.
So the next time you are sizing your life up, remember that true prosperity is not in storing up, its in giving up. Its not that God doesnt want us to be in the receiving end at all.. in fact I believe quite the contrary. Hes that kind of God. He just wants us to share, share what we've been given, which creates room for more...more to be given.
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
Are You Willing?
Are you willing to be lonely, have it all stripped away?
Remain in the fire, day after day?
Be a good neighbor when she spits in your face?
Be proud when they trample on your race?
Would you stay in a friendship when you've been betrayed,
Lied about, gossiped... your trust has been frayed?
Surrender your will; work hard when its hard?
Be uncomfortable, your perfect life's been marred?
When its all planned out and you know where you are going?
God slows you down, blessings stopped flowing?
You sow and you sow, no reaping in sight?
Youre tired, your weak, you've used all your might?
Give, not receive; patience in stress?
Not run away when you're life is a mess?
Stay in a marriage in good times and bad,
In sickness and health, feel used and been had?
If a child has strayed, can you pray without ceasing?
Not take out your anger, frustration unleashing?
Will You look to Him... when He seems far and and not near?
Feel youre forgotten, while you shed all your tears?
Not fall into anxiety in times when peace is far gone?
Continue to worship, praise Him in song?
In times where troubles are many, joy left a long time ago?
You're looking for healing, trust when it's coming too slow?
Stay in His Word, Hold onto His truths?
Not analyze when you're confused?
At times when you doubt; or your life seems cursed?
When you've no money in your purse?
Be an example when you suffer in silence?
Can you stay strong in times of violence?
Forgive in the times they dont apologize?
If a family member has severed all ties?
Are you willing to walk with your head held high?
Look to the Son , when no answers of "why"?
Can you be true to your self in the face of temptation?
Walk away from peer pressure , any sins invitation?
Are you willing to 'be' in the quiet and still?
Stay in the moment when your spirits been killed?
Are you willing to follow whenever He calls?
Widen your territory, break down strong walls?
You are blessed if you are willing; Hes ready to give?
Peace when you find out you're not going to live---
Strength in the Storms, A Boat in the flood
A willing Savior, for you shed His blood ---
Remain in the fire, day after day?
Be a good neighbor when she spits in your face?
Be proud when they trample on your race?
Would you stay in a friendship when you've been betrayed,
Lied about, gossiped... your trust has been frayed?
Surrender your will; work hard when its hard?
Be uncomfortable, your perfect life's been marred?
When its all planned out and you know where you are going?
God slows you down, blessings stopped flowing?
You sow and you sow, no reaping in sight?
Youre tired, your weak, you've used all your might?
Give, not receive; patience in stress?
Not run away when you're life is a mess?
Stay in a marriage in good times and bad,
In sickness and health, feel used and been had?
If a child has strayed, can you pray without ceasing?
Not take out your anger, frustration unleashing?
Will You look to Him... when He seems far and and not near?
Feel youre forgotten, while you shed all your tears?
Not fall into anxiety in times when peace is far gone?
Continue to worship, praise Him in song?
In times where troubles are many, joy left a long time ago?
You're looking for healing, trust when it's coming too slow?
Stay in His Word, Hold onto His truths?
Not analyze when you're confused?
At times when you doubt; or your life seems cursed?
When you've no money in your purse?
Be an example when you suffer in silence?
Can you stay strong in times of violence?
Forgive in the times they dont apologize?
If a family member has severed all ties?
Are you willing to walk with your head held high?
Look to the Son , when no answers of "why"?
Can you be true to your self in the face of temptation?
Walk away from peer pressure , any sins invitation?
Are you willing to 'be' in the quiet and still?
Stay in the moment when your spirits been killed?
Are you willing to follow whenever He calls?
Widen your territory, break down strong walls?
You are blessed if you are willing; Hes ready to give?
Peace when you find out you're not going to live---
Strength in the Storms, A Boat in the flood
A willing Savior, for you shed His blood ---
Friday, May 23, 2008
Meditation (and rain dance)on the Mount
Well I just want to put it out there...although I dont wanna brag...well maybe a little bit...ok no I don't, Im not that kind of person...ok well maybe I am, but Im not like other people who brag all the time...ok well maybe if I had things to brag about like I have now I would brag all the time...no I wouldnt...yes I would...(please excuse me Im having an inner battle here) Ok I admit it...I want to brag about this because its BIG!
So heres the scenario...Its HOT...remember the other day when it was hot enough you could fry an egg on the sidewalk?? (note to self, try that next time its HOT) well, my body goes insane with the heat...MS and heat do not mix, like oil and water kinda thing. So in all the heat, Im feeling awful, Im full on sick...weak, exhausted, nauseated, in pain (way more than usual), seeing spots that kind of thing which is "normal" for me when it gets hot, which is why I fear summer like a big gargauntan spider on the wall...or a nest of wasps...that kind of fear and then I also have loatheness (is that a word?) you know, loathe, to hate, to not be friends with (boy thats an understatment of the century!) every summer I spend like that, believe me it makes for a great summer!
So anyway, back to the HOT weather...so Im sick in bed watching Price is Right along with my other fav shows...normally at 10AM Im up doing stuff but not when its HOT, but when this hot thing comes on, Im lucky to make it to the bathroom. Im upset wondering 'why me', 'why cant I be like other people' etc etc (you know the whole "woe is me" bit, uh yes I do go there, Im honest enough to admit it :oP ) Then, suddenly, I get this GREAT IDEA (Can you see the light bulb above my head? Well if you dont now, you would have , it was there) this idea is the idea of all ideas...I will do a rain dance/ meditation calling for rain...please rain, please rain! Om...om ...om...om ommmmm. Of course Im telling all who will listen of my plight and sunsequent plan...I get to work busily, doing whatever it takes to get rain...om om om...dance dance (Saturday Night Fever playing in the background)
For the next few days I'm working hard...please rain come, please rain come! Om...Om, Om, Om...dance, dance dance! And then.....I get a call today (Friday) and GUESS WHAT! My friend Kari R tells me its raining! Its actually raining! I have special powers, I can make it rain...yippee! Just look out your window (present time 10:18AM) its downright pouring, and I think we even have hail! When I do a job, I do it right! For those of you who know me, I am a determined person, so if I want rain, I will do whatever needs to be done to make it happen, and thus so it is here. My fav kind of weather...well I do like it colder, but I didnt do a cold dance/meditation..my body has a P-A-R-T-Y when its like this! Not that I always feel great, but I certainly dont have the same symptoms to the extent I do when its hot. So I have to brag, I made it rain! I made it rain! I guess there is something to that "Om" thing (well not really, but I had to throw it in for the laugh factor) I love having special powers!! Anyone have any wishes they would like me to work on? Lottery winners? Have a spouse who leaves the toilet seat up or forgets Valentines Day Have a closet that is too small? (OH wait thats Kari R...Kari R never fear! Your superheor friend is working on your closet issue at this moment)Need your house to sparkle and shine before guests come? Well then apparently Im your girl!
Ok so maybe in all reality I dont have powers...I know God is the only One capable of making rain...but just for a moment (and anytime I want to dream) it was absolutely fantastic to think that I could actually make it RAIN! To look out the window, and know all the hard work I had been doing, and to see the fruit of that labor, was quite frankly like bringing new life into the world (ok well Im being a bit dramatic, but go with me here, please) I give all the glory and credit to God the Most High,for He is good...but just for a moment in time, it was nice to think I was a superhero and could make things happen...I had plans...like to make the streets lined with chocolate, and the trees to be cotton candy with money hanging on them like Christmas ornaments, for the next rain to rain jelly beans (jelly belly jelly beans, I only make the best) and wheels on cars to be chocolate chip cookies, and for there to be no taxes yet we get humongous tax refunds and that bills could be paid when you can, no due dates (wouldnt that be lovely?!) oh and the more candy you ate the more weight you lost! Golly jeepers, what else could I drum up???...oh I know...my kids would never talk back to me and would clean up after themselves and offer to do things to help...now that would be awesome! Only Jesus can walk on water, but boy would I love to be able to do that! Any ideas guys? Well, so my dream of being a superhero is now over, at least for the moment...Im thinking of making God a deal that if He lets me be a superhero, I promise to be good, read my bible faithfully, love others unconditionally, be slow to anger and quick to forgive...etc etc you know all the stuff we are supposed to do that we dont always do, hence thank you for your grace, Lord!
The rain has now stopped, my dreams have now been crushed....but there has to be a way that I can be a superero 24/7...I mean who wouldnt want cotton candy money trees humongous tax checks? Ive got a closet to work on that I can in no way make happen without special powers (shhhh dont tell Kari R pls!) Maybe if I make a cape, the powers will be here to stay...so the next time you see me, if Im wearing the cape...your wish is my command...if you need to be saved from a burning building, your kids are giving you attitude, or you dream of world peace, Im your girl! Im off to save the world!Anyone want snow made of marshmallow? If so, someone needs to bring the graham crackers and Hershey bars for a s'more party of all s'more parties....I cant do everything ...Im only a superhero ya know! Im off to save the world...Ta Ta!
So heres the scenario...Its HOT...remember the other day when it was hot enough you could fry an egg on the sidewalk?? (note to self, try that next time its HOT) well, my body goes insane with the heat...MS and heat do not mix, like oil and water kinda thing. So in all the heat, Im feeling awful, Im full on sick...weak, exhausted, nauseated, in pain (way more than usual), seeing spots that kind of thing which is "normal" for me when it gets hot, which is why I fear summer like a big gargauntan spider on the wall...or a nest of wasps...that kind of fear and then I also have loatheness (is that a word?) you know, loathe, to hate, to not be friends with (boy thats an understatment of the century!) every summer I spend like that, believe me it makes for a great summer!
So anyway, back to the HOT weather...so Im sick in bed watching Price is Right along with my other fav shows...normally at 10AM Im up doing stuff but not when its HOT, but when this hot thing comes on, Im lucky to make it to the bathroom. Im upset wondering 'why me', 'why cant I be like other people' etc etc (you know the whole "woe is me" bit, uh yes I do go there, Im honest enough to admit it :oP ) Then, suddenly, I get this GREAT IDEA (Can you see the light bulb above my head? Well if you dont now, you would have , it was there) this idea is the idea of all ideas...I will do a rain dance/ meditation calling for rain...please rain, please rain! Om...om ...om...om ommmmm. Of course Im telling all who will listen of my plight and sunsequent plan...I get to work busily, doing whatever it takes to get rain...om om om...dance dance (Saturday Night Fever playing in the background)
For the next few days I'm working hard...please rain come, please rain come! Om...Om, Om, Om...dance, dance dance! And then.....I get a call today (Friday) and GUESS WHAT! My friend Kari R tells me its raining! Its actually raining! I have special powers, I can make it rain...yippee! Just look out your window (present time 10:18AM) its downright pouring, and I think we even have hail! When I do a job, I do it right! For those of you who know me, I am a determined person, so if I want rain, I will do whatever needs to be done to make it happen, and thus so it is here. My fav kind of weather...well I do like it colder, but I didnt do a cold dance/meditation..my body has a P-A-R-T-Y when its like this! Not that I always feel great, but I certainly dont have the same symptoms to the extent I do when its hot. So I have to brag, I made it rain! I made it rain! I guess there is something to that "Om" thing (well not really, but I had to throw it in for the laugh factor) I love having special powers!! Anyone have any wishes they would like me to work on? Lottery winners? Have a spouse who leaves the toilet seat up or forgets Valentines Day Have a closet that is too small? (OH wait thats Kari R...Kari R never fear! Your superheor friend is working on your closet issue at this moment)Need your house to sparkle and shine before guests come? Well then apparently Im your girl!
Ok so maybe in all reality I dont have powers...I know God is the only One capable of making rain...but just for a moment (and anytime I want to dream) it was absolutely fantastic to think that I could actually make it RAIN! To look out the window, and know all the hard work I had been doing, and to see the fruit of that labor, was quite frankly like bringing new life into the world (ok well Im being a bit dramatic, but go with me here, please) I give all the glory and credit to God the Most High,for He is good...but just for a moment in time, it was nice to think I was a superhero and could make things happen...I had plans...like to make the streets lined with chocolate, and the trees to be cotton candy with money hanging on them like Christmas ornaments, for the next rain to rain jelly beans (jelly belly jelly beans, I only make the best) and wheels on cars to be chocolate chip cookies, and for there to be no taxes yet we get humongous tax refunds and that bills could be paid when you can, no due dates (wouldnt that be lovely?!) oh and the more candy you ate the more weight you lost! Golly jeepers, what else could I drum up???...oh I know...my kids would never talk back to me and would clean up after themselves and offer to do things to help...now that would be awesome! Only Jesus can walk on water, but boy would I love to be able to do that! Any ideas guys? Well, so my dream of being a superhero is now over, at least for the moment...Im thinking of making God a deal that if He lets me be a superhero, I promise to be good, read my bible faithfully, love others unconditionally, be slow to anger and quick to forgive...etc etc you know all the stuff we are supposed to do that we dont always do, hence thank you for your grace, Lord!
The rain has now stopped, my dreams have now been crushed....but there has to be a way that I can be a superero 24/7...I mean who wouldnt want cotton candy money trees humongous tax checks? Ive got a closet to work on that I can in no way make happen without special powers (shhhh dont tell Kari R pls!) Maybe if I make a cape, the powers will be here to stay...so the next time you see me, if Im wearing the cape...your wish is my command...if you need to be saved from a burning building, your kids are giving you attitude, or you dream of world peace, Im your girl! Im off to save the world!
Thursday, May 22, 2008
Out in Space...I mean My Space
So I have finally figured out the craze with my daughter and millions of people...I finally decided to create a myspace! After getting some tips from my oldest sons girlfriend (I cant beleive he has a girlfriend but thats a future blog...one I will address soon) well actually she did everything to set it up, I mererly gave her a name (user) and pw. I was exhausted by the end of that. I wanted to see what my daughter was doing all the times when I would say "Kayla, can you do such and such?" or "Kayla, did you hear me?" (when I was being full on ignored) and now I kinda know. MY biggest reason for doing one was I figured it was a good way to keep in contact with my sons girlfriend (make sure they were staying out of trouble...I mean seeing hows shes doing) and I talk to several of Kaylas friends who freqent my house and call me "Mom". Its served those purposes well. I also "talk" back and forth with my sis in law which is nice and I can view pics of my neice and put up pics of my kids and my other "babies", my animals. Now you might say "Why dont you just email back and forth?" However for some reason, emailing regular for whatever reason does not attract teens...who knows why?
I like the creative side of it...like a blog (but alot more options) you can pick a layout, music, banners, all sorts of designs,pictures,videos etc etc. Your only limit is your imagnation. So it has taken part of my time away from here (you can blog there as well, which I have) but my loyalty is my blog (at least for now. So if you ever need to find me, just check and see if Im in "My Space" (which I love by the way because its another secret place where its all about me)Who knows, maybe you will decide to come hang out in My Space and make it Your Space too :0P
Come on over 2 my page at http://www.myspace.com/hvnlygrl4jesus
Ta-Ta for now!
LG
I like the creative side of it...like a blog (but alot more options) you can pick a layout, music, banners, all sorts of designs,pictures,videos etc etc. Your only limit is your imagnation. So it has taken part of my time away from here (you can blog there as well, which I have) but my loyalty is my blog (at least for now. So if you ever need to find me, just check and see if Im in "My Space" (which I love by the way because its another secret place where its all about me)Who knows, maybe you will decide to come hang out in My Space and make it Your Space too :0P
Come on over 2 my page at http://www.myspace.com/hvnlygrl4jesus
Ta-Ta for now!
LG
Saturday, March 1, 2008
Pots & Pans and my wedding #2
Here it goes... I am going for round 2 at this blog entry. Earlier, I sat down and wrote a wonderful (I thought anyways, but I might be a little biased) loooonnngg piece and then when I pushed SAVE, it must have thought I said SEND...into cyberspace! I had to scream at the computer as if it was a person in shear frustration and rage and doing so maybe hoping it would bring it back? I would like to speak with that little man in cyberspace who posts blog posts and give him a piece of my mind and then I want to talk to his manager...the nerve of some people! Now I'm sad...For those of us creative writers...writings are our "babies"...like a painter who is attached to his/her paintings, singer who sings a song, ice sculptor... his/her sculpture, the list goes on. You (at least I) become very attached to my writings, no matter the topic or length. When something like this happens, its as if you have to forget it ever existed. You remember. You remember very well. It was a part of you. You exposed, You breathed into something beyond you. You will always remember it and you still look back. I hate that. Plus I cant remember alot of what I wrote, ouch. Now some might say " Arent you being a bit dramatic?" Well, how in the world do you think I got the nickname from a dear friend (Kari R) "Drama Queen" It takes a lot of work to get a name like that, and I have earned every letter believe me.
I am frustrated, and in some ways, funny as though it may seem dont want to sit and write it again, but I must. For a writer, to write is to live and in order for me to live I have to write. Writing for me is like breathing, it takes no effort, is God breathed and a steady rise and fall like ones chest as they inhale and exhale. So here goes. Hopefully it will be better, Lord help me, I really want to relay my story in the way it should be. May it glorify Your Name above all Names. Amen. Here goes:
Well ladies and Gentlemen, I did it. Yes, I did it. I was almost registered for my wedding at Target last week.
What??? you say---
Now you are probably wondering what the heck Im talking about, seeing that in reality I have been married for 16+ yrs, why would I need to register at Target? Seems a bit odd to do that now, dont ya think? Well, thats the funny thing. Well not funny at the time thing but haha funny later kind of thing. I didnt think I needed to register, unless any of you want to send gifts I'd be happy to oblige. However the other day a cashier at Target thought I should, and all but wheeled me over to the registery area.
Here goes the story:
I go to Bed, Bath and Beyond to return some pans which were not only unworthy of 10.00, they should have gone out in the beyond and lose themselves deep into the abyss of pots and pans gone bad. (Maybe I should have sent them to that little man in cyberspace to thank him for all his hard work)After doing so without incident, I head over to Target to purchase a better set found in their AD for that week. In addition to the pan set you get a FREE egg pan in addition to the one in the set. I just cant refuse FREE!! Cameron my youngest is with me, and we find the set ok and the FREE pan, and head to the checkout. We get to the register and I quickly inform the cashier very proudly (Like I did something special) that the pan that I was putting on the whatever you call that thing where you set your items??? on I get for FREE and comes with the purchase. I dont know why but I was concerned that I would be charged for the FREE pan...that would be such travestry and cause for a "panning" over her head or other cruel and unusual punishment ,hence the next days headlines in the VC Star (Women gets "panned" by another for charging a customer for a pan that was supposed to be FREE) You would think I was speaking french because she had this weird look on her face...either that or I had something on my face....maybe lunch or something. So I said it again. She immediately says "Oh, You need to go over and register...huh? now Im thinking that SHE is speaking french...again huh? I explain this time that it is a gift with the set, not a gift for someone and she tells me that the register won't ring it up unless its we go to the blue square thingie of which she makes a square gesture with her hand.
I guess my look must have informed her of my misunderstanding because she says it again and points us to the cust service desk and find some blue square thing and register. Hmmm I wonder in bewilderment. So Cameron and I look at each other and head over..."Sure, Im not getting married but surely I need to register in order to buy a set of pans with a FREE pan. That sounds right doesnt it friends?
We get there and see the blue square thingie and immediately I know this isnt right. So I wait for a sec or two absolutley bewildered as to why this is necessary, all I want to do is buy my pans and other goods and go. Thats it. Hubby is waiting out in the car with a migraine and is probably wondering how much its going to cost him to get out of that store, or if hes going to have to take over my chair and roll me out as Im screaming "No just one more thing I want to look at honey!" "PPPlllleeeeaaassssseeee!
Finally a cashier comes to the desk> I explain to her "The cashier over there told me in order to buy this pan set that comes with a FREE pan, that I need to come over here to the registry thing and register on the blue square thingy, and that it wont ring up at the register. She said I'll have to pay for the FREE (in case you havent noticed I like saying that) egg pan. By then a second cashier comes over and hears what Im saying. The first cashier looks at me with that you're speaking french look of which I have come to know and use myself, and will store it away the next time this happens (note to self...do not let this happen again!) She says "I dont know why she told you that, its not true." Gee theres a thought. The women talk it over for a sec. I think trying to figure out what in the world thids lady would say this. I am figuring by now that she is a new cashier and have pity on her, despite my frustration.
As we are talking, I notice the ad is sitting there and so I show them the ad, not realizing that there is a CLUB WEDD logo at the bottom directly under the ad giving details on how to register. Then the cust service cashier says some things that I will never forget the rest of my life "Oooohhh, now I know why she said that, you have to register in order to buy these items" Ok duh I have already been told that how many times now? What I want to kow is why. The words ringing in my head as though I had a deja vu moment there. I am bewildered and about to flip a lid or gasket or something, maybe a wheel off my chair...something like that...it wouldnt be pretty..."Woman in wheelchair "pans" two women in Target for speaking french to her." Great role model I would be for my son Cameron, huh? Over the course of our discussion of this not making sense to me and her trying to explain it to me over and over pointing to this CLUB WEDD logo, I finally come out and say, (trying so hard not to lose my cool) (SIDENOTE those of you who know me knows this is a rareity, at least I would like to think so, except for my family they would probably say Im like that all the time hahaha)
After about 10min, I say words I never thought would come out of my mouth in all of history "You mean to tell me that I cannot buy this pan set with the FREE pan unless I am getting married???? She then says words back to me I thought I would never hear "Yes that is correct, you see this logo under here says that, again pointing to the logo." "You have got to be kidding me" "Seriously???" "You are telling me I cannot buy this pan set with the FREE egg pan unless I register and am getting married??? I repeated it again to make her hopefully notice how obsurd that sounds. In my mind I picture me trying to pay for it with $$ in hand and the Target employees telling me "NO, we will not accept your $$ unless you are getting married...what a thought huh? No person I know would turn down $$ when you want to buy what they are selling...isnt that the way its supposed to go??? Finally, totally exhausted and ready to go home except I couldnt stand the thought of going to the car and explaining to my husband not only the unbelievable story, but that because I returned the awful set prior, we now have no cookware (is that really so bad though now that I think about it ladies??) So I ask her, "Can you please ring this up and see if it will work...again with the picturing in my mind of the register saying "is the person getting married?" If not Im not opening...what a thought. She agrees and rings it up...lo and behold what do you think happened my friends??? Any guesses???It didnt do that! We decide to ring the pan set up first then the FREE egg pan , it said pan set so and so is 49.99 ...so I waited in intrepidation and she rings up the egg pan and it says something like "gift" 0.00 ....gee imagine that!! What a thought...the computer was smarter than the employees! oooppss did I just say that?Just writing it is putting me back to that oh so scary place of stress and bewilderment and the thought of multiple pannings, but more than anything shaking my head at a story I surely will be telling my grandkids..."Now little Timmy and little Jessica" (I hope my kids dont name their kids that...hopefully they will have names like Kaeden, or Kylie Rae or something out of the ordinary (cant think of other names although in the prev log I had some good ones) oh sorry Im drifting off the subject must be from my delerium from the whole escapade. And with that I pay and am off to the car with my purchases and go home.
So the moral of the story ladies and gentlemen is if you buy a pan set...make sure you register first on the blue squeare thingie!
Tata for now--- I need a nap after this!
LG
I am frustrated, and in some ways, funny as though it may seem dont want to sit and write it again, but I must. For a writer, to write is to live and in order for me to live I have to write. Writing for me is like breathing, it takes no effort, is God breathed and a steady rise and fall like ones chest as they inhale and exhale. So here goes. Hopefully it will be better, Lord help me, I really want to relay my story in the way it should be. May it glorify Your Name above all Names. Amen. Here goes:
Well ladies and Gentlemen, I did it. Yes, I did it. I was almost registered for my wedding at Target last week.
What??? you say---
Now you are probably wondering what the heck Im talking about, seeing that in reality I have been married for 16+ yrs, why would I need to register at Target? Seems a bit odd to do that now, dont ya think? Well, thats the funny thing. Well not funny at the time thing but haha funny later kind of thing. I didnt think I needed to register, unless any of you want to send gifts I'd be happy to oblige. However the other day a cashier at Target thought I should, and all but wheeled me over to the registery area.
Here goes the story:
I go to Bed, Bath and Beyond to return some pans which were not only unworthy of 10.00, they should have gone out in the beyond and lose themselves deep into the abyss of pots and pans gone bad. (Maybe I should have sent them to that little man in cyberspace to thank him for all his hard work)After doing so without incident, I head over to Target to purchase a better set found in their AD for that week. In addition to the pan set you get a FREE egg pan in addition to the one in the set. I just cant refuse FREE!! Cameron my youngest is with me, and we find the set ok and the FREE pan, and head to the checkout. We get to the register and I quickly inform the cashier very proudly (Like I did something special) that the pan that I was putting on the whatever you call that thing where you set your items??? on I get for FREE and comes with the purchase. I dont know why but I was concerned that I would be charged for the FREE pan...that would be such travestry and cause for a "panning" over her head or other cruel and unusual punishment ,hence the next days headlines in the VC Star (Women gets "panned" by another for charging a customer for a pan that was supposed to be FREE) You would think I was speaking french because she had this weird look on her face...either that or I had something on my face....maybe lunch or something. So I said it again. She immediately says "Oh, You need to go over and register...huh? now Im thinking that SHE is speaking french...again huh? I explain this time that it is a gift with the set, not a gift for someone and she tells me that the register won't ring it up unless its we go to the blue square thingie of which she makes a square gesture with her hand.
I guess my look must have informed her of my misunderstanding because she says it again and points us to the cust service desk and find some blue square thing and register. Hmmm I wonder in bewilderment. So Cameron and I look at each other and head over..."Sure, Im not getting married but surely I need to register in order to buy a set of pans with a FREE pan. That sounds right doesnt it friends?
We get there and see the blue square thingie and immediately I know this isnt right. So I wait for a sec or two absolutley bewildered as to why this is necessary, all I want to do is buy my pans and other goods and go. Thats it. Hubby is waiting out in the car with a migraine and is probably wondering how much its going to cost him to get out of that store, or if hes going to have to take over my chair and roll me out as Im screaming "No just one more thing I want to look at honey!" "PPPlllleeeeaaassssseeee!
Finally a cashier comes to the desk> I explain to her "The cashier over there told me in order to buy this pan set that comes with a FREE pan, that I need to come over here to the registry thing and register on the blue square thingy, and that it wont ring up at the register. She said I'll have to pay for the FREE (in case you havent noticed I like saying that) egg pan. By then a second cashier comes over and hears what Im saying. The first cashier looks at me with that you're speaking french look of which I have come to know and use myself, and will store it away the next time this happens (note to self...do not let this happen again!) She says "I dont know why she told you that, its not true." Gee theres a thought. The women talk it over for a sec. I think trying to figure out what in the world thids lady would say this. I am figuring by now that she is a new cashier and have pity on her, despite my frustration.
As we are talking, I notice the ad is sitting there and so I show them the ad, not realizing that there is a CLUB WEDD logo at the bottom directly under the ad giving details on how to register. Then the cust service cashier says some things that I will never forget the rest of my life "Oooohhh, now I know why she said that, you have to register in order to buy these items" Ok duh I have already been told that how many times now? What I want to kow is why. The words ringing in my head as though I had a deja vu moment there. I am bewildered and about to flip a lid or gasket or something, maybe a wheel off my chair...something like that...it wouldnt be pretty..."Woman in wheelchair "pans" two women in Target for speaking french to her." Great role model I would be for my son Cameron, huh? Over the course of our discussion of this not making sense to me and her trying to explain it to me over and over pointing to this CLUB WEDD logo, I finally come out and say, (trying so hard not to lose my cool) (SIDENOTE those of you who know me knows this is a rareity, at least I would like to think so, except for my family they would probably say Im like that all the time hahaha)
After about 10min, I say words I never thought would come out of my mouth in all of history "You mean to tell me that I cannot buy this pan set with the FREE pan unless I am getting married???? She then says words back to me I thought I would never hear "Yes that is correct, you see this logo under here says that, again pointing to the logo." "You have got to be kidding me" "Seriously???" "You are telling me I cannot buy this pan set with the FREE egg pan unless I register and am getting married??? I repeated it again to make her hopefully notice how obsurd that sounds. In my mind I picture me trying to pay for it with $$ in hand and the Target employees telling me "NO, we will not accept your $$ unless you are getting married...what a thought huh? No person I know would turn down $$ when you want to buy what they are selling...isnt that the way its supposed to go??? Finally, totally exhausted and ready to go home except I couldnt stand the thought of going to the car and explaining to my husband not only the unbelievable story, but that because I returned the awful set prior, we now have no cookware (is that really so bad though now that I think about it ladies??) So I ask her, "Can you please ring this up and see if it will work...again with the picturing in my mind of the register saying "is the person getting married?" If not Im not opening...what a thought. She agrees and rings it up...lo and behold what do you think happened my friends??? Any guesses???It didnt do that! We decide to ring the pan set up first then the FREE egg pan , it said pan set so and so is 49.99 ...so I waited in intrepidation and she rings up the egg pan and it says something like "gift" 0.00 ....gee imagine that!! What a thought...the computer was smarter than the employees! oooppss did I just say that?Just writing it is putting me back to that oh so scary place of stress and bewilderment and the thought of multiple pannings, but more than anything shaking my head at a story I surely will be telling my grandkids..."Now little Timmy and little Jessica" (I hope my kids dont name their kids that...hopefully they will have names like Kaeden, or Kylie Rae or something out of the ordinary (cant think of other names although in the prev log I had some good ones) oh sorry Im drifting off the subject must be from my delerium from the whole escapade. And with that I pay and am off to the car with my purchases and go home.
So the moral of the story ladies and gentlemen is if you buy a pan set...make sure you register first on the blue squeare thingie!
Tata for now--- I need a nap after this!
LG
Saturday, February 23, 2008
Irreplacable
Irreeplacable
I am irreplaceable in
The eyes of the living God, the one true God
My Daddy in Heaven believes in me, is rooting
For me, waiting for me, waiting for me---at
The finish line, here I come! Arms open wide, a grin
Ear to ear, saying “Come on, come on daughter” “YOu can do it!”
He blots out transgressions out of His mind, remembers
Them no more---erased from all that is known---
Does not only blot out but erases and makes whole again---
He is irreplaceable---
I am irreplaceable in
The eyes of the living God, the one true God
My Daddy in Heaven believes in me, is rooting
For me, waiting for me, waiting for me---at
The finish line, here I come! Arms open wide, a grin
Ear to ear, saying “Come on, come on daughter” “YOu can do it!”
He blots out transgressions out of His mind, remembers
Them no more---erased from all that is known---
Does not only blot out but erases and makes whole again---
He is irreplaceable---
Light for the way...
God loves you---
Truly, deeply, always!
There is nothing that can
change His love for you!
Holley Gerth---
*****************************************************************
"I will not leave you until I have done what I have promised you"
Gen 28:13-15
*****************************************************************
God works patiently to complete His plans for me (you...fill in your name)
******************************************************************
God wants every person to have a personal encounter with Him
Truly, deeply, always!
There is nothing that can
change His love for you!
Holley Gerth---
*****************************************************************
"I will not leave you until I have done what I have promised you"
Gen 28:13-15
*****************************************************************
God works patiently to complete His plans for me (you...fill in your name)
******************************************************************
God wants every person to have a personal encounter with Him
Saturday, February 16, 2008
Relationships
Relationships take time. Time requires an investment. Investment requires giving of self. Giving of self requires transparency and vulneralbility. Transparency and vulnerability require trust. Trust must be the foundation of a relationship. The beauty of that is that when all those things are place, the return is priceless. Developing a relationship has to be intentional---you will reap what you sow.
I once heard that the ulitmate torture for human beings is to isolate them. We were created to be in realtionship---both with our Maker and fellow man. It makes sense to me. I have found myself to some degree experiencing that very isolation. For the most part, I am homebound, left to drive my family absolutely crazy...aahhhh do I do that?? ;) I have realized how much my friends/family that I am apart from mean to me, and the deep sense of loss I feel. Its one of the unknowns in the" land of chronic illness" for lack of a better term, which feels more like a desolate wasteland, far removed from society. It causes me to think about those in biblical times those who had leprosy as they watched from afar all that was going on in the city beyond...watching life go on as it should be....just as I watch people go to work, school, shopping, appts. Following their dreams( as they very well should be and with me cheering on the sidelines) going about the life God intended. What I struggle with so much is that feeling of life going on without me, a feeling of loss that I am missing out on" life"---almost as if while I watch on the sidelines, not only is the game going on without me, doing well without me, but more importantly I dont even get to play in the game---not even for a short time. I must try to remind myself that my walk with God and where He is sending me is on a much different path...one that I dont want to go on, but must submit my will for His remembering that His plan is for good. It feels like anything but good. We know that just because something doesnt "feel" good it wont be "good" in the end. Thats where we must simply trust the God that spoke life into creation and all that is with alive. The God who created things like laughter, and sea anenomes and stars. Trust without faith is not trust and faith with out trust is not faith at all. Either God is who He says He is, and has done what Ive confessed Him to have done or not. The same God that sent His Son to die for me was not done in vain. In the absence of that, my suffering would be in vain, and that would be torture to an unknown magnitude that I dont even want to think about.
I once heard that the ulitmate torture for human beings is to isolate them. We were created to be in realtionship---both with our Maker and fellow man. It makes sense to me. I have found myself to some degree experiencing that very isolation. For the most part, I am homebound, left to drive my family absolutely crazy...aahhhh do I do that?? ;) I have realized how much my friends/family that I am apart from mean to me, and the deep sense of loss I feel. Its one of the unknowns in the" land of chronic illness" for lack of a better term, which feels more like a desolate wasteland, far removed from society. It causes me to think about those in biblical times those who had leprosy as they watched from afar all that was going on in the city beyond...watching life go on as it should be....just as I watch people go to work, school, shopping, appts. Following their dreams( as they very well should be and with me cheering on the sidelines) going about the life God intended. What I struggle with so much is that feeling of life going on without me, a feeling of loss that I am missing out on" life"---almost as if while I watch on the sidelines, not only is the game going on without me, doing well without me, but more importantly I dont even get to play in the game---not even for a short time. I must try to remind myself that my walk with God and where He is sending me is on a much different path...one that I dont want to go on, but must submit my will for His remembering that His plan is for good. It feels like anything but good. We know that just because something doesnt "feel" good it wont be "good" in the end. Thats where we must simply trust the God that spoke life into creation and all that is with alive. The God who created things like laughter, and sea anenomes and stars. Trust without faith is not trust and faith with out trust is not faith at all. Either God is who He says He is, and has done what Ive confessed Him to have done or not. The same God that sent His Son to die for me was not done in vain. In the absence of that, my suffering would be in vain, and that would be torture to an unknown magnitude that I dont even want to think about.
Monday, February 4, 2008
Hope
"As Jesus was walking along, He saw a man who had been blind from birth. "Teacher," His disciples asked Him, "Why was this man born blind? Was ita result of his own sin or thoseof his parents?" "It was not because of his sins or His parent's sins," Jesus answered. "He was born blind so the power of God could be seen in him"----John 9:1-3
I read this passage in my devotional, Hope by Nancy Guthrie and it got me questioing why were the men asking the reason why this man was suffering...did it really matter? Didnt it occur to them that no matter the reason this man was suffering, wasnt there anything they could do to help? COuldnt they offer prayer, some kind of help whatever that may be, offer him financial help since he probably couldnt work because of his affliction....something, there could have been something that would show the mercy of God to the man but seen from the eyes of the people probably standing around or by the sharing of this man that being humble and helping the needy is something we should offer any time we come across someone like that??? Not judge them and have pity, but empathize...there is a huge difference, although some get it mixed up.
As I pondered this, it struck me as odd...how I have had that same thing come up in my own life in manny different aspects, but I wonder...is it possible the men wanted to deter to a analyticla point of view because in fact to see someone suffer, especially when it seems inhumane or unfair that it made them feel uncomfortable???Could that be it? Is it possible it was because of something as simple yet complex of a reason??? Or maybe, just maybe it put them in touch with feeling vulnerable....that is questioning themselves...what would I do if in that same situation?? It causes one to in fact put themselves in the realm of things like this can happen to everyone, in any form it doesnt have to be blindness but anything great or small, which is another subject I shall delve into...why do people measure "problems" that is to say something they are going thru is more or less that someone elses. Why is that...anyone have any ideas? Id like to know, it has happened to me a time or two...or three or four :)
So I ask this of you ....what will you do the next time you see someone suffering in front of you ...will you judge them as to why they are going thru such a thing...will you prevent yourself from being vulnerable...even as so much to say a kind word, or offer comfort in the words such as "I dont know how you do it, I couldnt do it" anything just anything. I try to always remember that myself. But I do admit, some times seeing someone suffer causes me to question my own humanity, my own possiblity that it could be me in that persons shoes, without the eyes ot see the mountains, my kids as they grow up, my friends as we talk face to face, for I would feel as I am missing out on so much. So as I close, think about this, will you allow yourself to thank God for what you do have, Thank him you dont have to go thru what that person is...can you imagine how this man felt being blind from birth?? So much to think about, today, tomorrow, the next and so on. Will you offer a kind word, works and worry more about the person than your being uncomfortable. Thank you Lord for this day you have made. Amen.
I read this passage in my devotional, Hope by Nancy Guthrie and it got me questioing why were the men asking the reason why this man was suffering...did it really matter? Didnt it occur to them that no matter the reason this man was suffering, wasnt there anything they could do to help? COuldnt they offer prayer, some kind of help whatever that may be, offer him financial help since he probably couldnt work because of his affliction....something, there could have been something that would show the mercy of God to the man but seen from the eyes of the people probably standing around or by the sharing of this man that being humble and helping the needy is something we should offer any time we come across someone like that??? Not judge them and have pity, but empathize...there is a huge difference, although some get it mixed up.
As I pondered this, it struck me as odd...how I have had that same thing come up in my own life in manny different aspects, but I wonder...is it possible the men wanted to deter to a analyticla point of view because in fact to see someone suffer, especially when it seems inhumane or unfair that it made them feel uncomfortable???Could that be it? Is it possible it was because of something as simple yet complex of a reason??? Or maybe, just maybe it put them in touch with feeling vulnerable....that is questioning themselves...what would I do if in that same situation?? It causes one to in fact put themselves in the realm of things like this can happen to everyone, in any form it doesnt have to be blindness but anything great or small, which is another subject I shall delve into...why do people measure "problems" that is to say something they are going thru is more or less that someone elses. Why is that...anyone have any ideas? Id like to know, it has happened to me a time or two...or three or four :)
So I ask this of you ....what will you do the next time you see someone suffering in front of you ...will you judge them as to why they are going thru such a thing...will you prevent yourself from being vulnerable...even as so much to say a kind word, or offer comfort in the words such as "I dont know how you do it, I couldnt do it" anything just anything. I try to always remember that myself. But I do admit, some times seeing someone suffer causes me to question my own humanity, my own possiblity that it could be me in that persons shoes, without the eyes ot see the mountains, my kids as they grow up, my friends as we talk face to face, for I would feel as I am missing out on so much. So as I close, think about this, will you allow yourself to thank God for what you do have, Thank him you dont have to go thru what that person is...can you imagine how this man felt being blind from birth?? So much to think about, today, tomorrow, the next and so on. Will you offer a kind word, works and worry more about the person than your being uncomfortable. Thank you Lord for this day you have made. Amen.
Sunday, February 3, 2008
Bag of Rocks
How heavy is your bag of rocks?
My bag, comes with me to and fro--
slung over my back causing me slow.
Filled with life- both 'good' and 'bad'
Griefs and sorrows---blessings I've had
My Father in Heavem, who gave me life
My Creator patterned---wove beauty with strife
Knitted and formed, just like me
A plan and a purpose set out to free---
A mission of love---holy and sacred
Woos His love, wants us wed
I become His, He becomes mine---
The plan unfolded, it just takes time.
My bag, comes with me to and fro--
slung over my back causing me slow.
Filled with life- both 'good' and 'bad'
Griefs and sorrows---blessings I've had
My Father in Heavem, who gave me life
My Creator patterned---wove beauty with strife
Knitted and formed, just like me
A plan and a purpose set out to free---
A mission of love---holy and sacred
Woos His love, wants us wed
I become His, He becomes mine---
The plan unfolded, it just takes time.
Crazy Love
Crazy love of a baby,
who grows into a man,
evolving into a Savior,
filled with a plan---
A rescue mission--a plan to steal my heart; when I want to be known, I come to You.
Crazy love, drawn to You, the I AM, the only One,
You seek me, whisper my name, You have sought me from day one--loved, planned, its crazy ---but its what Ive longed for a needed.
Father to daughter--relationship like no other, a little girl conceived with a plan already in mind---more than she could ever dream of or know---
This is what shes dreamed all those sleepless nights---a hole made whole---filled with overflowing crazy love---
Peace, comfort like no other can give.
You are love, love is You, I am wrapped in that love, wrapped by Your loving arms with the sweet song of comfort playing in the background---until the day I day, that crazy love shall continue, one day I shall no it into fullness--emptiness into fullness...crazy love spilled over.
Amen.
who grows into a man,
evolving into a Savior,
filled with a plan---
A rescue mission--a plan to steal my heart; when I want to be known, I come to You.
Crazy love, drawn to You, the I AM, the only One,
You seek me, whisper my name, You have sought me from day one--loved, planned, its crazy ---but its what Ive longed for a needed.
Father to daughter--relationship like no other, a little girl conceived with a plan already in mind---more than she could ever dream of or know---
This is what shes dreamed all those sleepless nights---a hole made whole---filled with overflowing crazy love---
Peace, comfort like no other can give.
You are love, love is You, I am wrapped in that love, wrapped by Your loving arms with the sweet song of comfort playing in the background---until the day I day, that crazy love shall continue, one day I shall no it into fullness--emptiness into fullness...crazy love spilled over.
Amen.
A Day to Remember...or will I?
Well today is the day, a day my husband has been waiting all year for, yearning, longing, dreaming, counting down the days to...no its not our anniversary, you know the fact that I have given him 20 years, 3 fantaboulous (if I do say so myself, and I do) ...kids who are quick to do their chores, always eat their vegetables and beg me to read them bible stories around the fire every night (we dont have a fireplace). I have cooked, cleaned, had to bear with his ever so sweet bodily sounds that is music to a womans ears(who needs romance right, ladies??) not the fact that I have listened to his bad jokes, nursed him back to health when hes been near death with a cold, given up my "girly" shows for sports or blood and guts movies..etc etc...and yet this is not what my hubby has been talking about for days on end, but it is in fact the day of the Superbowl...yes the overrated, boorish, lame Superbowl (ooppss, did I say that??) So here I sit, again talking to you while I listen to the shouts of "WWWHHHOOOOOO!!!! and YEAH!!!!! and all the jargon that goes with a simple football game, at least that is my humble opinion, and since this is my blog, I shall share my opinion...and whoever reads this has to listen...even if no one reads this, I will read the blog myself and cry over the fact that I could go this very moment wearing nothing but a bowl of dip in my lap and two corn chips covering the other parts of my body that on any wife is a dream for her husband to sneak a peek at, and he still would only say "Honey can you move over , I cant see the game" what am I chopped liver??? And so it is this day that I am longing for it to be over, for isnt there more meaningful things to be doing with his time, like fighting world hunger, or shaving or maybe clean a toilet? I mean come on people, we are talking life or death matters here, there are germs to be fought! hair to be sucked the drain and such and such, you know what I mean? SO tonight when I lay my pretty little head down to fall off to dreamland, I shall say my prayers, including thanking God that for at least now, the Superbowl is at that time over, and as far as my husband is concerned only 364 days to go for the next...gee I can hardly wait. Maybe next year instead of chips and dip I can try cheesecake and cheez whiz, any ideas ladies???? Toodles XOXOX Im off to eat chips and dip (at least that is one decent thing about today, I can eat and eat till Im fat)
Thursday, January 24, 2008
So I am finally back...at the nudge of my good friend and "nudger" Kari R (thanks Kari!) after a pause in writing although not writing at all but just here...seems I h ave a hard time finding my way around here these days which is unlike me...but oh well at least I'm here (right Kari?!) Its days like this with all the rain we have been having makes me think about the good things in life...although everyone has troubles seemingly insignificant or significant its all known to God...Our Creator...the One who knows our thoughts, our worries, concerns, dreams, hopes every part about it...yet I find myself forgetting that when in fact those issues of life seem to creep in on me trying to drown out the voice of God that says "I'm here" "Its in My hands, don't worry about tomorrow(although I do, sorry God)...think about what I think about the issues in your daily life...am I worried or fretting? A"re you still here, not merely existing but called by my grace with the purposes and calling I have set out for you??" Don't you know that if you remember I am the One who parted the Red Sea, opened the jail cell for Paul and Silas, fed the 5,000, sent my Son to die for you, watch over you each and every day without sleep nor slumber?" "Do you remember who I am???" Sorry God but I do forget when those things occur as they will in every ones life, mine seemingly sometimes worse than others...self pity rolling in...but just like the last couple of days since the rain...we have a big leak in our house...Jeff went up so many times to fix it, yet it would find somehow a way to come in...so it leaked into our kids' room/office...I found my self anxious about it, what should we do? now what happens when the towels sheets etc aren't enough to contain it, I mean you only have so much to clean it with...so its soaked but in all that I am still learning to give it to God along with all the other "stuff" going on...it always feels that its just one more thing pushing me back, when I guess in reality its pushing me forward...hey I think I just thought of something profound there---thank you God! The worry does nothing to fix it and since my mind cant seem to come up with a solution come what may although I don't always feel like that, I need to make my mind up to think differently...My views of God need to change daily as I learn that my pass is not my future, things have to get better, God will see me thru, and I need to think expectantly that it will get better in all areas of my life, even my spiritual life which seems to have hit a ditch for a while but I think I am back up and running hopefully here to stay....its funny how when you get out of the habit of something its so hard to get back into it when the fact is when you were practicing it it just seemed natural? Do you know what I am talking about? So in the end, today I will just concern my self with the "now" I have my family...great husband and kids, I have my dog (which by the way I got a early present from Santa and her name is "Roxy"...(hopefully photos soon to follow if I can ever figure out how to do it) who would of thought a small bundle (shes a chihuahua) could produce so much love...so I have her, and my cats, Jack, Grace, Oliver, and my house no matter how in shambles it may be and in major disrepair (but it could be in worse condition...that's a whole other area God needs to help me change my thinkin' in, maybe that's another article later) I have the health I have today (again could be worse) financially.. things could be better but it could be worse also. I have my emotional and spiritual condition intact so I can only hope for tomorrow to be better and keep on keepin' on....I'm not where I want to be in all aspects but I am on my way...I'll just keep on keepin' on.Thank you God for your daily mercy and grace and that I have just enough that I need today.
PS. Kari R---I finally figured out how to use the spell check! If it was a snake it would have bit me, duh! I use to be a self proclaimed self spell check but obv not any longer...oh well you cant have it all
PS. Kari R---I finally figured out how to use the spell check! If it was a snake it would have bit me, duh! I use to be a self proclaimed self spell check but obv not any longer...oh well you cant have it all
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