Enthusiasm

Are you enthusiastic about your life? Do you do everything with enthusiasm? Rev 2:4-5 talks about losing enthusiasm for your faith...Mk speaks about losing enthusiasm in sharing the Gospel...Jn 13:37-38 can cause you to make unwise choices...Ex 35:21..all speak about this very subject. Although they don't use the word enthusiasm, if studied in context it reveal so. What are some of the things. big or small can we do in such a manner? From changing to sharing the gospel with a hurting friend to being a CEO of a major company and doing it with integrity, pride and joy. All of those things matter to Go. They matter to God...He sees all we do and if we do it in such a manner others will notice usually its something that somehow passes to others and/or is appreciated by those around you. The word enthusiasm means: a feeling of excitement, overflowing w/ eager enjoyment, intense emotionalism. I know its hard to show it when you are going grocery shopping, buying a new bra, going to work after a long commute etc, etc. But God loves a joyful person and ever if you have to pretend at first it can come about...even when buying a bra ladies. Now I know its hard for you...its just as hard for me, especially in regard to my physical condition, I find myself being thankful for the things that I normally wouldn't. Those things that we view as strife, day to day problems, a problem that may last a long long time or a lifetime, we can be thankful for what we are learning from them. Now to a young mother it may be hard to do this when you are changing diapers or cleaning jelly off the floor for the hundredth time that morning...be thankful for things like they will soon grow up ( I know this I have 3 teenagers :) ) or to think about those who cant have kids, your child has the comforts of being in our country vs AIDS babies in Asia or a place where food is a luxury...you don't worry that the water you put in his/ her cup wont be contaminated which leads to sickness and often death. So you see that we, even I can be thankful, joyful, enthusiastic about each day, for which we live and breathe. Its as hard for me as the next but at least pretend for a while and maybe you too can be thankful, joyful each...may your cup runneth over! "G"

The last few weeks have been a reality check of sorts...It came to my heart that it had been a while since I have read the Word...I am not able to attend church regularly as well as my womens bible study, both which I love so much. They caused me to read the Word.I was thirsty for it anyways. However during my days either recouperating or not feeling well in general steals one away from those things and the Word. Although I pray every day, throught the day, obviously reading the bible needs to be done as well. My life because of that recently lacked something...I cant really explain it...one who this has happened to knows what Im talking about. Also I see Joyce Meyer on TV which I watch every day...its kinda like my "church". Something she said convicted my heart. She has been studying the bible for 30 plus yrs..she talked about our need to be in the Word every day..anyways that convicted me. She is a teacher of the Word and I admire her (teaching being a passion of mine which I feel called to do) and the neccesity of doing so...dont I need to do the same? I immediately got out my bible and started reading. Now you would you think I would begin to be consistent, however do you think I stayed with that?. I pray and hope that I will continue, and in that quench my thirst. Will I? I am thirsty but will I drink? If I dont I will become parched...and we know what happens to a plant or tree when they are not watered..they die. Not that I will die physically but my spirit will...will it steer towards what He wants for my life? Wont it cause me to not do things I shouldnt, where in the past I had not felt convicted? I fear not, for not only am I parched, I dont want to wait until my mouth is dry. So goodbye for now, I have some reading to do, and some studying to do. I hope you will read the Word regularly, for you too will become parched as well. Only He has the water to quench that thirst..So go get a drink...hurry up though, you dont want to get parched. :)

Convictions and clashings

Have you even had an experience where your view of something clashed with someone you love so much? Well I think no matter what your thoughts, beliefs or convictions its bound to happen...unfortuantely it happens, probably more that we want. I had that experience this evening...someone I care about clashed against what I beleive...and the truth is I cant change it and no amount of discussing it would either. All I can do as anyone in in this predicament is, pray for that person and love them despite their take on something. Its unfortuante when someone cant see the truth, even when its staring at them right in the face. Hopefully someday this person will change their mind...see the truth and come to k now why I believe what I do. Love it or leave, Ithey cant change me either.And thats the great thing about this country...freedom...freedom to believe right from wrong...even if it means this person as everyone has to stand before God and answer no matter how "right" they think they are...thats a conviction that hopefully doesnt change how this person thinks I feel about them, but then again I cant change that either.

A funny thing happened the other day...(funny later but not at the time...what are those called by the way?) My hubby and I were supposed to pick up my daughter Kayla at the Burbank airport who was traveling back home from seeing her cousin, aunt and uncle and I had so missed very much and was so looking forward to getting her home...she had been gone for a month and I know you mothers know what Im talking about, even though she IS a teenager...we aremaking plans to go down early spend the day hanging out together with our youngest son. Well, that late morning (we were supposed to leave in about a half an hour or so) our car/truck decided to break down (maybe it didnt want to go to Burbank LOL) so we begin scrambling to figure out a way, which I immediately begin to panic (literally, I have been dealing with alot anxiety, but thats another story...called some friends, people werent home called a friend to see about getting it fixed but people are not available...made some other calls trying to figure out how to get down there, when suddenly I get an idea to call my dear friend Kari R (aka K-Peep...inside joke) whom very generously I might add without hesitation says she will drive me down there. I am releived..thank you Lord! The funny part is that not only did it give us a chance to chit chat which we havent gotten alot of time to lately and spend some quality time together...Kari's probably thinking "Get this girl out of my car!" LOL It taught me that God sometimes has detours for us that we cant understand or want to submit to when its frustraing to our plans and agendas and it also taught me that when in need I need to reach out and call on those who care about me...how many of us think to ourselves "Oh I'll just figure out a way on my own, I dont want to bother him/her, they are probably busy anyway" or figure they dont WANT to help, when the reality for the most part people WANT to help and we have to humble ourselves (which is a pride issue by the way) how many of us struggle with pride?? (You cant see me but im waving my hand) All in all, it worked out...and we even got to people watch...remember Kari the gal with the pink dress and cow boy boots! Yeee haaa!! :) Actually thats omething I like to do to see if I can figure out their "story" that is where they came from, where they are going, who they are as a person etc, just fun stuff ya know...Anyway it worked out (of course God is saying, "I planned it and when I plan it it always works out ...duh Lisa!") My daughter is home and already fighting with her brothers like ol' times....everything is as it should be, what more could I ask for :) God is good, and His plan is even better...by the way Kari R/K-Peep..a big THANK YOU for being sooooo generous ( you have no idea how generous she is unless u know her :) ) And thank you God for your perfect and unyielding plan to which I often amm frustrated but ultimately thankful for...may you continue to ever thwart my plans for your plan...You are God and I am NOT

Its coming more and more apparent to me surrendering --- mylife, and all the aspects of it to the Lord is something I need to make a concious effort to d0...it is a choice I need to make every day...every moment. The funny thing is why do we as christians struggle with it sooo much, no aspect of our life is our own anyways. I am simply giving back to the One who gives me breat each day. Why do I want to take life into my own hands when I just fumble and make a mess of the clay vessel that I am...why wouldnt I rather give the clay to God,that is let Him mold it into the shape that it should be. The shape molded into what it should be gives me the best life possible. Yet I take it into my inept hands, try to make it something pliable and pulchritudinous (a new word I learned today)...unfourtanetly without fail ever time what happens inevitably is that I crumble resplendent ( another word I learned...which is something I recommend...there are cajillions ofnew words to use and learn!) Why do I do this to myself...the one life I ony have one shot at and more importantly to my Heavenly Father who adores me and wants His very best. The difference between my best and His best and by far not even comprable..but again I must...make my own agenda, take from Him and make it mine and then am disheartened when it falls apart and I am unhappy and fufilled. So, I am off to reestablish my goal...make that choice and make it happen with as much exertion as human possibly...So I'll see you on Surrender Road, hopefully you wont see me on Embezzle Lane...if you do I'll be sure before long ( hopefully) locomote ( another word) to.

Fly

Fly
My dream flew away today,
What I long for will never be
The more I have tried to hold onto it,
The more it has tried to get away.
My dream has awaken
Stirred my heart to make it come true
But what I perceive is only fantasy
It cannot come true until I let it fly away---
Until I surrender it, it will remain caged and hostile
Until I let It fly away, God cannot un-break my heart
When I realized I was clinging too hard, white-knuckled and sorrowful
God spoke to me and comforted me, reassuring me He will always fulfill
My dream, but not always in the container I try to put them in---
I don’t like to feel rejection, and I am sure that no one does
But the more I am rejected, the more I long to be loved
Lord, restore my heart, clean out my dirty soul
My biggest dream is to please You, not have Your rejection upon me
I realized today that my dream flew away, but it was long before today
I was just caging it up, hoping if I opened the door, it would not fly away
Rejection at its worst---Jesus is close to me now
Pleading, trying to understand why, finally surrendering
And letting go---
Fly away dream, fly away
In that flight, that dream takes shape, and begins to grow
And someday will fly back to me in a different container, and then I can
Soar with it---
Even though I grieve now, someday I will rejoice and be thankful.
I hope someday comes soon.
Please Lord, let it come soon.
I do not want to grieve forever, I want my longing fulfilled as You promise.
Amen.
Lisa Graham
5-28-02

Blood, Sweat and Tears

Blood, Sweat and Tears

This dirty vessel You’ve washed clean
How can it be?
Your holy Presence living in me
My Daily Bread, Living Water
When I am thirsty---
Your mercy endures forever
May my children’s children’s children know You Father!
You are good, yes You are!
All the time You are good---
The tears You cried, the blood you sweat
The dew fell as You prayed, made Your clothes wet
You bled for me, my name on Your lips
On the Potter’s wheel I sit, as you mold me, make me into
What You desire, Your cup I take sips
Sift me, make me as You are my Daddy
If you keep me as I am, my life a tragedy
You shed blood sweat and tears for me, my sake
This cup that passes, the bread, the wine may I partake

What if?

What If?

What if I made better choices?
What if the hurt I caused had not been lashed out?
What if I looked to God more for answers instead of coming up with myown?
What if I talked to God more and not my friends?
What if I read more of Gods Word and not books?
What if I saw God's creation (people) as cherished beings worthy of all good?
What if what I said had not seeped from my lips?
What if my life had taken a different turn?
What if I am not content with my life?
What if I want to go back and take another journeys road?
What if the life I lead is not pleasing to my God?
What if people dont see me as I see me?
What if I were to take off all the masks that I wear?
What if everyone took off their masks as well?
What would planet Earth be like if everyone was nice to everyone else?
What would happen if we shared more and kept less?
What would happen if we thought about our neighbor more than ourselves?
What if I put Gods will above my own?
What if I extended the grace God has given me to those who offend me?
What if I never let another person offend me ?
What if I made a choice to worry less and give thanks more?
What if Jesus had not died on the cross for my sins?
What if?

One of those days...

Its been one of those days..you know those days...where the car breaks down, the dog throws up on your brand new carpet (thankfully I dont have a dog or new carpet:) ) you go to pull something out of the refrigerator for dinner and realize there is nothing to pull out, its hot outside and the air conditioner broke and you have $6.80 in your checking account to buy a new one or fix the old one. You know, one of those days. Inevtably we all have had a day(if your lucky or like most of us many days like that...hopefully not in a row at least. However if you are like me, struggle always knows where to find me. Even though I have a relationship with Jesus, it doesnt devoid me of pain or strife...its gonna come and usually in the form I just described. I shared recently with some of my dear friends about one of those weeks I had where one night after just getting ready to go to sleep I hear a crack sound to which my son almost immediately came in saying his fish tank had broke in his room sending 1 gallon of water on the floor along with fish...now one gallon doesnt seem like alot but it is if its on your carpet and your furniture. My husband and son got that cleaned up and thought nothing of it except to dry everything;the cleaned the room out completely first. The next night we have gone off to bed having a late night the previous night and about 4 AM I realize the air vent is on and its cold in the house so I wheel out to turn it off and start to roll thru the kitchen as I do I am met by one of my cats who looked at me with this funny looked and stared at the floor very oddly...(side note: if you are a cat person like me you know what Im talking about we know like our kids when they act strangely and get their cues) I can tell by the sound my wheels make as Im going that it feels like I have gone thru a puddle of water which makes me wonder where water would be coming from...I reach my hand down after hearing this swish noise and put it to my nose, & realize very quickly its PAINT!!! Yes PAINT...I had been previously that week painting my cabinet doors and somehow not only knocked the can over but obviously hadnt sealed the lid tight enough so I now at 4AM had a whole can of paint on my kitchen floor, on my WHEELCHAIR everywhere was white...it was like a winter wonderland, but a winter wonderland NIGHTMARE...Because of what had happened the previous night I immediately start crying & in tears call my husband who comes out half laughing...I am not laughing, I am stressed to the MAX...I am tired, dont feel good and have no idea how to not only get the paint off the floor, and carpet but off my wheelchair??? He stood there for a second or two as we decided what to do ..needless to say we got it cleaned up and life went on. It was yet another opportunity to not sweat the small stuff even when you are on your last straw and exhausted as all can get.
Its not the first day/week we've had like that and its ceraintly not going to be the last. I find it funny now that I look at it and rememeber back I have forgotten alot of the details and it took me much thought to be able to write this post...but you know how it is... its been one of those days :)

Why Believe?
Have you ever wondered why believe in God? Why choose to be a follower of Christ, the One who died and rose again? Well for someone like me I have to say why not? Why not choose to believe in God a God whom looks at us with gleaming pride, a Father like no other;a Father to pick us up when the world knocks us down, a God to whom wants nothing else but to be in close proximity of our hearts to His creation to which is the apple of His eye. He cant see you but with the Eyes of love, admiration, full of abundant grace, mercy available at no cost yet so undeserving to one who recognizes themself as sinner just as Paul the Apostle finally realized after seeing picture snap shots of his very own life in his mind. I do that often. Its easy to see of course after the thought, the hurtful words Ive said, the times I out right ignored Gods very tug on my heart wanting to put my hands over my spritual ears as if to say" I cant hear you!" Yet both God and I know I do. Yet in hindsight as I take the snap shots as Paul did and realize I need to ask my Father in Heaven once again for forgiveness as I always can not only because I beleive in God, but because no matter what shortcomings i may have He believes in me. So the question is not why believe in God but rather why not believe in Him when all the blessings that come with a relationship with Him await me by such a choice. Think about it and let Him know, He's waiting for ya :)